Mike Zimmerman
When to Cut
Wait for the Goldilocks day,
Not too hot, not too cold, just right
for that twisted machine—black and red
and gasoline. Yes, I am afraid
to be too weak to pull. And I am.
We try again. Prime the pump, rip the rope
and hope. But I never make anything happen.
You start it for me and say
“Watch out for big rocks.”
You point them out; I hit three.
Yes, you kept it during chemo. It trapped you once,
Caught you under it while I was at work.
And yes, near the end, Goldilocks. We sense and see
The day is not too anything. Grass high and sharp,
rioting, an overgrowth of green.
You are afraid. Too pale, too weak to pull,
So I start the mower and move.
I’m cutting all the time now, Dad—
you’re lying still.
The Line Outside a German Sex Club
As I rest for a moment near the grated gate
and chug my wasser from the bierhof Rüdesdorf,
the naked weight of history reorders everything:
Oh, queer men. Oh, in a line. Uh oh, in Germany. Grab a number—
and plastic bag! Place all valuables now!—a number,
not a name, for the night. The other men, standing
somber for fun, like convicts in the yard, simmering
with all my same aches, all my same lush leniencies.
I adjust my eyes to the dark mouth of this place
and think: judgmental American—tsk tsk, small-minded little
Puritan boy, he’s already poking out of his shorts.
Inside, it’s like cageless zoo at midnight, these hours
of distress and longing. Puritan boy. My mouth is open,
my mouth is wrapped around someone’s long
evening. In the red light someone shakes his head
and tells me, don’t go down those stairs. For you,
always up. Never down. Around and around
there are the colors of hurt, and weapons
that could have been borrowed from any fortress
or from any camp. Among the sweaty walls,
the delirious music pumps on from invisible speakers.
It begins. I want to be locked in; I want to be made
A prisoner of our pleasures all over again.
Mike Zimmerman is a writer of short stories and poetry, as well as a high school teacher in Queens. His work has been published in Cutbank, A & U Magazine, Florida Review, Typehouse Literary Magazine, and Zingara Poetry Review, and various anthologies. Social media @mazaffect.
