Sheila Rittenberg
Cold Call
You’re in the consignment store scouring for finds amidst ragged cuffs and sweater holes when you get his call. The ultrasound is bad. It’s probably cancer. You have to move, from your city to his small town, right now, tonight, because there may not be as many nights left as you thought and you have to be together, not only together but married. You marry within a week in his living room, now your living room.
Children come, sisters and brothers, too. You stand alone downstairs, listen to the racket above, picture the faces, fat grins, anguished frowns.
Happy-sad. The sweet sticky smell of flowers. The note cards, cold and iron gray as if they were granite. We wish you well, we know this will be okay, love to the wonderful couple.
Your friend caters the meal, no payment permitted. You look at her and cry. You take in the fairytale silver urns and platters and plates, golden spoons, the long dining room table covered in fine whites, the crystal turned this way and that.
The ceremony is rose-scented honey. The family sits in living room rows, each person an open petal in the afternoon pastel. Your daughter-in-law sings and her voice breaks. Everyone looks down.
Then you’re married and he stomps the glass and “mazel tov” echoes and the frantic kiss, no passion, just a promise. You embrace, embrace, and sit together for a photo as if you’ve never heard of cancer.
You’ve crossed the divide between the rainy valley and the dry high desert. You’ve broken through. The trees you see change from dogwood to ponderosa, the bushes from rose to manzanita. You find the shops for buying your bread and your bras. The buzz of a city, once intoxicating, is far away. Now the bossy jays and mourning doves are the hubbub. You know you’ll be fine. You know he won’t die. He doesn’t.
Sheila Rittenberg is a retired nonprofit leader born in Montreal. She’s lived in three countries, and in addition to English, speaks French, and Hebrew (rusty!). Bend, OR, is home. She was a Fellow at Atheneum, a master level writing program based in Portland, OR, and is co-founder of the Stepping Stones Writing Retreat. More of her work can be found in The Bluebird Word and Fiction on the Web.
